Top Five Most Embarrassing Moments

untitledWe’ve all had them. Some more than others. Embarrassing moments. Those incidents that make you wish the floor would open up and swallow you whole. Maybe someone caught you rocking out to your favorite song. In the office. Or you realized the person wasn’t waving at you. Or you found yourself doing the head-bob in an important meeting.

Well, here are my top five. I’m sure there are more, but they must have been so traumatic that I repressed them.

5. I’m reaching waaaaay back for this one, but it’s stayed with me all this time. 1974. I was 11 years old and the junior bridesmaid in my sister’s wedding. Both my mother and my sister said I’d better wear hose. I thought, pfft, I’m wearing a long gown, what do I need hose for? So, I wore knee-highs.

Weeell, I caught the bouquet (which was my sister’s intent). The man who caught the garter had to put it on my leg. And wouldn’t you know it, the groomsman who caught the garter (some 10 years older than me) was the object of my preteen crush. My sister still has the photo of me lifting my bridesmaid’s gown, much to the amusement of the guests in the background, to reveal my knee-high covered, scrawny pre-pubescent legs. Very attractive.

4. Fast forward to my sophomore year in high school. It was my very first high school pep rally, and I was buzzing with excitement. I felt like a true high schooler. My best friend and I designated a spot to meet so we could walk over to the gym together. I stood outside my classroom facing the crowded hallway.

As more time passed without seeing my friend I began to worry. If we were late, we wouldn’t get to sit with the cool kids (which of course meant life and death in those days). I had just about decided to go it alone when I turned around and there stood my best friend, her back to me, looking in the direction of my classroom. We had been standing back-to-back looking for one another the entire time and never knew it. How that happened, I will never know.

3. This time I’m in college, which wasn’t as long ago as you might think. I didn’t go to college until I was 30. So around the age of 32 I’m in this Shakespeare class where we were required to perform a scene from one of his plays in front of the class. The scene: Othello kills Desdemona, from, well, Othello. A dramatic, horrifying scene. I played Iago’s wife, Emilia. Othello was played by this adorable twenty-something.

When it came time for my dramatic line, “I care not for thy sword, I’ll make thee known though I lost twenty lives,” Othello and I charged one another. Welp, we were a little too enthusiastic and ended up doing a rendition of the chest-bump. The adorable little twenty-something blushed every shade of red in the spectrum, then totally lost it. Then I lost it. Then the class lost it. Not exactly the dramatic end Shakespeare had in mind.

2. Nothing says embarrassment like doing a face plant in front of witnesses. At this time, I was managing an ophthalmology practice. I was dressed in a suit and heels, arms filled with totebag, purse, keys in hand, trudging up the outdoor metal staircase to enter the building from the second floor. Did I mention those metal stairs were wet?

It all happened so fast. My foot slipped out from under me, I dropped everything in my futile attempt to break my fall, my keys clanked down the metal stairs as I slid down them feet first, finally catching myself in a pushup position. I dropped my head to the step directly in front of me, and assessed my physical condition. Nothing broken it seemed. Then I heard, “My dear, are you all right?” Standing below me were five patients who happened to be in the parking lot when I fell. Was I all right? My body, yes. My pride — not so much.

1. I used this particular embarrassing moment as the first scene in Ship of Dreams (Book #2 in the Dreams Come True Series) due out in February 2015. I was walking down the sidewalk in a local strip mall, when the heel of my strappy sandal became wedged in a sidewalk seam, almost causing me to do another face plant. No matter what I did, I couldn’t pry the heel loose. Since the sandal was, well, strappy, I couldn’t slip it off either.

As I was trying to decide how to get myself out of the predicament (so far none of the other strip mall patrons had come to my rescue), a male voice behind me said to be careful or I would break the heel. The man wrapped his hand around my bare ankle and freed my shoe. After that, I turned to see a very dear friend of my husband’s. I’m not sure which would have been more embarrassing — a total stranger rescuing me, or a good friend. At least I’d shaved my legs.

OK. I’ve shared my moments. What are yours?

 

 

 

Some Days . . .

5d1ba6d8fa2caa94abc305977d65de16It doesn’t pay to get out of bed. Only I had one of those weeks. You ever have one of those weeks where nothing goes right? Where everything you touch turns to $h!t? Where it seems the very forces of the universe have you in their sights, and they don’t like what they see?

That was my week last week. I felt as if a black cloud was hanging over my head like the cartoon character Joe Btfsplk in Al Capp’s Li’l Abner comic strip.

One particular day, Thursday to be exact, my day-job had succeeded in beating me into submission, and at the end of that day I dragged my poor, battered body and my mushy, wasted brain out to the parking garage to finally go home. And wouldn’t you know it — my four-month old car wouldn’t start. I wanted to lay my head on the steering wheel and cry, but frankly, without my AC, it was just too damn hot to wallow in self-pity. After several phone calls, the obligatory hold-time waiting for my roadside assistance program’s “next available customer service representative,” and the wait-time for the tow truck, I finally reached the solitude of my home three hours later (without my car).

The next day, I figured I’d already walked through the fire that was my craptastic day the day before, Friday had to be better, right? Wrong. Thinking the previous day’s beating wasn’t enough, my day-job took up where it had left off and continued to hammer me. In the midst of my nightmare, my husband called to say our non-profit website was down — what should we do? Um, cry? Because that’s what I felt like doing. At that point, I’d raised the white flag. I surrendered. The Force had won.

By Friday night, all I was capable of when I got home was staring at the TV. I’m not even sure it was on. I lost millions of brain cells I’ll never get back. I can’t remember going to bed. I just know I woke up there the next morning. Thank God, that week ended. And so far (let me knock on wood), this week has been better. But there’s still two days left.

How about you? You have any days or weeks like that lately?

 

 

First Meet Reader Stories

On August 28 I wrote a blog post about First Meets and how important they are in romance novels. This gave me an idea to hold a ‘First Meets’ contest, featuring stories from you, my readers. I received an overwhelming number of wonderful First Meet stories, and trust me when I say I really struggled picking the winner. Rachel Collings’ story won. Yay, Rachel! Rachel gets to select one of my three books as her prize.

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There were so many cute, funny, romantic First Meet stories, that I decided to share my top five faves — in no particular order — on the blog today. Some have been revised for brevity. Enjoy!

Winner

Rodeo Meet

My now husband and I were both at an amateur rodeo. He was the bull fighter thaticonic-cowboy-hat-316x350 night. I thought he was cute so I took his cowboy hat, put it on my head, winked, and walked away. I figured if he wanted his hat back he had to come talk to me. We have been together for 10 years now, married for 8 and have 3 beautiful children.

That one could have come straight out of a contemporary western romance novel. Loved it!

Honorable Mentions (in no particular order)

Motorcyle Meet

motorcycle1I met my future husband through my sister’s pranks. My little sister and I were standing on our front porch when a guy on a motorcycle went whizzing by on the street. My sister yelled at him and said that I wanted to meet him then jumped down behind the porch railing where he couldn’t see her. He then turned around and rode his motorcycle down the sidewalk in front of our house and stopped. We started talking and eventually he asked me out and the rest is history.

I wonder if her little sister gets REALLY nice gifts at the holidays.

Wedding Meet

My husband and I met at a wedding where he was the Best Man and I was Maid of maid-of-honor-bestman-speech-one-tree-hill-10349248-443-500Honor. When I walked in the room for rehearsal night, he and I just stood there and stared at each other for several minutes. Everyone was mentioning that for many months afterwards. In fact, everyone was saying that night and much later that we would end up marrying, and a year and 2 months later, we did. We dated as just friends for 6 months, and then realized we actually loved each other as well as liked each other.

What more romantic place to meet than a wedding?

Loan Officer Meet

I was a Loan Officer in the consumer loan department of a bank, when I met with a very nice looking man who was requesting a loan. The minute I looked in his eyes my mother’s voice came into my head. I use to complain to her about never meeting anyone special and I felt I was getting too old for it to happen to me. She always said you will know when you look into his eyes that he’s the one, because that’s what had happened between her and my father.

meeting3After approving his loan, he came back in to sign the papers and pick up his check. When he came back in, he was dressed up. But he kept calling me back asking me questions about the term of the loan and the payment due date and other things. I answered all his questions but kept telling him that all this information was on his paperwork I had given him. But he still kept calling.

One day he came into the office and asked to see me. He had brought me a card, thanking me for being so nice to him, and a single long stemmed red rose. He asked me out on a date, and, well, the rest is history. We indeed went on that date, we moved in together 2 weeks later, and got married 3 months later. My mom’s voice was true, he was and still is the ONE!!!!! We have been married for 26 years!!!!

Love at first sight! Doesn’t get any more romantic than that.

Flat Tire Meet

I had noticed him at a dance party I attended. When I got ready to leave, I discovered Iuntitled had a flat tire on my Honda. He was the first to volunteer to come to my aid even thought he was dressed nicely he changed the tire. I thought that was so nice of him and really romantic. Later that week he called me for a date. And the rest is history….

Le sigh. So romantic. That guy was a true gentleman.

Thanks for sharing all your romantic stories with me. Happily ever after isn’t just found in romance novels.